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The Best Seat at any Burn

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We have discovered the way to the best seat at any burn. Guaranteed. It will work every time. Guaranteed.

If this is the night the Man burns, wait till the fire dancers are well into their program. Then just walk through the crowd, stepping on people if necessary, and walk right past the perimeter, into the midst of the fire dancers. Keep walking straight toward the Man. Eventually, a Ranger will notice you. The Ranger will then grab you and make you sit down ahead of the formerly first row of people. Don't worry that they have been sitting there for an hour and a half to get a good view, just sit right in front of them. The Ranger made you, right?

If anyone in the crowd makes a fuss, just ignore them. If a Ranger asks you to move, just refuse. They can't make you move. The Ranger will then explain to the people complaining that they have no enforcement powers and that they can only ask people, but they can't make them do anything.

The Ranger then has to hurry back to doing whatever it is they do. You're golden. I've seen drunks do this at every Burn. It works every time.


[NOTE: For the sarcasm impaired, this is meant sarcastically.]

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